She suffered physically from a terminal illness, and experiencing the Passion of our Lord in her body. She suffered spiritually when she went through the 'Dark Night of the Soul'. She suffered emotionally because often the sisters she lived with didn't believe she was sick and thought she was avoiding work. She suffered mentally because she was experiencing extraordinary spiritual phenomena, such as visions of Jesus, Our Lady and certain saints. Jesus was instructing her to spread the devotion to Divine Mercy throughout the world, but she had no idea how she could do this. She doubted herself as to whether she had gone mad or was she really experiencing all the great spiritual mysteries over a three year period. So she had a lot of suffering in her life, which is one of the hallmarks of saints. We hope you read these important passages carefully and reflect on each passage and we hope that they benefit your soul and spiritual life.
Today the Lord said to me, "I have need of your sufferings to rescue souls". O my Jesus, do with me as You please. I did not have the courage to ask the Lord Jesus for greater sufferings, because I had suffered so much the night before that I would not have been able to bear a drop more than what Jesus Himself gave me. (Diary 1612)
I was feeling fairly well today, and I was glad that I would be able to make the Holy Hour. But when I began to make the Holy Hour, my physical sufferings intensified, so that I was not able to pray. When the Holy Hour was over, my sufferings came to an end, and I complained to the Lord that I had wanted so much to steep myself in His sorrowful Passion, but that my sufferings had not allowed me to do so. Then Jesus said to me, "My daughter, know that if I allow you to feel and have a more profound knowledge of My sufferings, that is a grace from Me. But when your mind is dimmed and your sufferings are great, it is then that you take an active part in My Passion, and I am conforming you more fully to Myself. It is your task to submit yourself to My will at such times, more than at others." (Diary 1697)
Today Jesus said to me, "I desire that you know more profoundly the love that burns in My Heart for souls, and you will understand this when you meditate upon My Passion. Call upon My mercy on behalf of sinners; I desire their salvation. When you say this prayer, with a contrite heart and with faith on behalf of some sinner, I will give him the grace of conversion. This is the prayer: “O Blood and Water, which gushed forth from the Heart of Jesus as a fount of Mercy for us, I trust in You.” (Diary 186/187)
Though these are frightening things, the soul should not be too fearful, because God will never test us beyond what we are able to bear. On the other hand, He may never send us such sufferings, but I write this because, if it pleases the Lord to let a soul pass through such sufferings, it should not be afraid but, insofar as this depends on the soul itself, it should remain faithful to God. God will do a soul no harm, because He is Love itself, and in this unfathomable love has called it into being. However, when I was so tormented, I myself did not understand this. (Diary 106)
God made known to me what true love consists in and gave light to me about how, in practice, to give proof of it to Him. True love of God consists in carrying out God’s will. To show God our love in what we do, all our actions, even the least, must spring from our love of God. And the Lord said to me, "My child, you please Me most by suffering. In your physical as well as your mental sufferings, My daughter, do not seek sympathy from creatures. I want the fragrance of your suffering to be pure and unadulterated. I want you to detach yourself, not only from creatures, but also from yourself. My daughter, I want to delight in the love of your heart, a pure love, virginal, unblemished, untarnished. The more you will come to love suffering, My daughter, the purer your love for Me will be". (Diary 279)
When I fell sick [probably the beginning of consumption] after my first vows and when, despite the kind and solicitous care of my Superiors and the efforts of the doctor, I felt neither better nor worse, remarks began to reach my ears which inferred that I was making believe, With that, my suffering was doubled, and this lasted for quite a long time. One day I complained to Jesus that I was being a burden to the sisters. Jesus answered me, "You are not living for yourself but for souls, and other souls will profit from your sufferings. Your prolonged suffering will give them the light and strength to accept My will". (Diary 67)
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