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Tuesday, 27 September 2016

7 From the age of seven, I experienced the definite call of God, the grace of a vocation to the religious life.


It was in the seventh year of my life that, for the first time, I heard God‟s voice in my soul; that is, an invitation to a more perfect life. But I was not always obedient to the call of grace. I came across no one who would have explained these things to me. 8 The eighteenth year of my life. An earnest appeal to my parents for permission to enter the convent. My parents‟ flat refusal. After this refusal, I turned myself over to the vain things of life, paying no attention to the call of grace, although my soul found no satisfaction in any of these things. (4) The incessant call of grace caused me much anguish: I tried, however, to stifle it with amusements. Interiorly, I shunned God, turning with all my heart to creatures. However, God‟s grace won out in my soul. 9 Once I was at a dance [probably in Lodz] with one of my sisters. While everybody was having a good time, my soul was experiencing deep torments. As I began to dance, I suddenly saw Jesus at my side, Jesus racked with pain, stripped of His clothing, all covered with wounds, who spoke these words to me: How long shall I put up with you and how long will you keep putting Me off? At that moment the charming music stopped, [and] the company I was with vanished from my sight; there remained Jesus and I. I took a seat by my dear sister pretending to have a headache in order to cover up what took place in my soul.