651-700

651 O Incomprehensible God, how great is Your mercy! It surpasses the combined understanding of all men and angels. All the angels (107) and all humans have emerged from the very depths of Your tender mercy. Mercy is the flower of love. God is love, and mercy is His deed. In love it is conceived; in mercy it is revealed. Everything I look at speaks to me of God‟s mercy. Even God‟s very justice speaks to me about His fathomless mercy, because justice flows from love. 652 There is one word I heed and continually ponder; it alone is everything to me; I live by it and die by it, and it is the holy will of God. It is my daily food. My whole soul listens intently to God‟s wishes. I do always what God asks of me, although my nature often quakes and I feel that the magnitude of these things is beyond my strength. I know well what I am of myself, but I also know what the grace of God is, which supports me. 653 (108) April 25, 1936. Walendow. On that day, the suffering in my soul was more severe than ever before. From early morning, I felt as if my body and soul had separated. I felt that God‟s presence had penetrated my whole being; I felt all the justice of God within me; I felt I stood alone before God. I thought: one word from my spiritual director would set me entirely at peace; but what can I do? – he is not here. However, I decided to seek light in holy confession. When I uncovered my soul to the priest, 134 he was afraid to continue hearing my confession, and that caused me even greater suffering. When I see that a priest is fearful, I do not obtain any inner peace. So I have decided that only to my spiritual director will I open my soul in all matters, from the greatest to the least, and that I will follow his directions strictly. 654 Now I understand that confession is only the confessing (109) of one‟s sins, and spiritual guidance is a different thing altogether. But this is not what I want to speak about. I want to tell about a strange thing that happened to me for the first time. When the confessor started talking to me, I did not understand a single word. Then I saw Jesus Crucified and He said to me, It is in My Passion that you must seek light and strength. After the confession, I meditated on Jesus‟ terrible Passion, and I understood that what I was suffering was nothing compared to the Savior's Passion, and that even the smallest imperfection was the cause of this terrible suffering. Then my soul was filled with very great contrition, and only then I sensed that I was in the sea of the unfathomable mercy of God. Oh, how few words I have to express what I am experiencing! I feel I am like a drop of dew engulfed in the depths of the bottomless ocean of divine mercy. 655 (110) + May 11, 1936. I came to Cracow. I was happy that at last I shall be able to carry out all that the Lord Jesus was demanding. Once, when I was speaking with Father A…. [Andrasz] and had told him everything, I received this answer: “Sister, pray till the day of the Feast of the Most Sacred Heart and add some mortification to the prayer, and on the Feast of the Sacred Heart I will give you an answer.” But one day, I heard this voice in my soul: Fear nothing; I am with you. After these words, I felt such an urgency within me that, without waiting for the Feast of the Sacred Heart, I said during confession that I was going to leave the Congregation immediately. Father answered, “Sister, 180 since you have made the decision by yourself, then take the responsibility for yourself. Go.” I was happy to be leaving. The following morning, God‟s presence suddenly left me. (111 ) A great darkness came over my soul. I could not pray. Because of this sudden loss of the presence of God, I decided to postpone the matter for a while, until I had talked with Father. Father A. [Andrasz] answered that such changes in souls were frequent, and that this was not an obstacle to action. 656 When I talked to Mother General [Michael] about everything that had happened to me, she said, “Sister, I am locking you in the tabernacle with the Lord Jesus; wherever you go from there, that will be the will of God.” 657 June 19. When we went to the Jesuits‟ place for the procession of the Sacred Heart, during Vespers I saw the same rays coming forth from the Sacred Host, just as they are painted in the image. My soul was filled with great longing for God. (112) June, 1936. Conversation with Father A. [Andrasz] 658 “Know that these are hard and difficult things. Your principal spiritual director is the Holy Spirit. We can only give direction to these inspirations, but your real director is the Holy Spirit. If you yourself have decided to leave, Sister, I neither prohibit nor order you to do so. You take the responsibility for yourself. I say this to you, Sister: you can begin to take action. You are capable of doing so, and therefore you can do so. These things are indeed probable; all you have told me up to now [before perpetual vows in Cracow in 1933] speaks in favor of taking action. Still, you have to be very careful in all this. Pray much and ask that I be given light.” 659 During Holy Mass, offered by Father Andrasz, I saw the little Infant Jesus, who told me that I was to depend on him for everything: No action undertaken on your own, even though you (113) put much effort into it, pleases Me. I understood this [need of] dependence. 660 O my Jesus, on the day of the last judgment, You will demand from me an account of this work of mercy. O Just Judge, but my Spouse as well, help me to do Your holy will. O mercy, O divine virtue! 661 July 16. I spent this whole night in prayer. I meditated upon the Lord‟s Passion, and my soul was crushed by the burden of God‟s justice. The Hand of the Lord touched me. 662 July 17. O my Jesus, You know how much adversity I encounter in this matter, how much reproach I must put up with, how many ironic smiles I must take with equanimity. Oh, alone I would not (114) be able to survive this, but with You, my Master, I can do all things. Oh, how painfully an ironic smile wounds, especially when one [appears to] speak with great sincerity. 663 July 22. O my Jesus, I know that a person‟s greatness is evidenced by his deeds and not by his words or feelings. It is the works that have come from us that will 181 speak about us. My Jesus, do not allow me to daydream, but give me the courage and strength to fulfill Your holy will. Jesus, if You wish to leave me in uncertainty, even to the end of my life, may Your Holy Name be blessed. 664 + O my Jesus, how immensely I rejoice at the assurance You have given me that the Congregation will come into being. I no longer have the least shadow of a doubt about this, and I see how great is the glory which it will give to God. It will be the reflection of God‟s greatest attribute; that is, His divine mercy. Unceasingly, (115) they will intercede for divine mercy for themselves and for the whole world. And every act of mercy will flow from God‟s love, that love with which they will be filled to overflowing. They will strive to make their own this great attribute of God, and to live by it and to bring others to know it and to trust in the goodness of the Lord. This Congregation of Divine Mercy will be in god‟s Church like a beehive in a magnificent garden, hidden and meek. The sisters will work like bees to feed their neighbors‟ souls with honey, while the wax will flame for the glory of God. + June 29, 1936 665 Father Andrasz told me to make a novena for the intention of knowing better the will of God. I prayed ardently, adding a certain bodily mortification. Towards the end of the novena, I received an inner light and the assurance that the Congregation will come into being and that it is pleasing to God. Despite the difficulties (116) and adversities, complete peace and strength entered my soul from on high. I understood that nothing could resist or nullify the will of God despite obstacles, persecution and sufferings of all kinds, and despite natural repugnance and fear. 666 I understood that all striving for perfection and all sanctity consist in doing God‟s will. Perfect fulfillment of God‟s will is maturity in sanctity; there is no room for doubt here. To receive God‟s light and recognize what God wants of us and yet not do it is a great offense against the majesty of God. Such a soul deserves to be completely forsaken by God. It resembles Lucifer, who had great light, but did not do God‟s will. An extraordinary peace entered my soul when I reflected on the fact that, despite great difficulties, I had always faithfully followed God‟s will (117) as I knew it. O Jesus, grant me the grace to put Your will into practice as I have come to know it, O God. 667 July 14. I received a letter at three o‟clock [from Father Sopocko135]. O Jesus, You alone know what I suffer, but I will keep silent and will not say anything about it to any creature, because I know that no one will comfort me. You are everything to me, O God, and Your holy will is my nourishment. I am living now on what I will live on in eternity. I have great reverence for Saint Michael the Archangel; he had no example to follow in doing the will of God, and yet he fulfilled God‟s will faithfully. 668 + July 15. During Holy Mass, I offered myself completely to the heavenly Father through the sweetest Heart of Jesus; let Him do as He pleases with me. Of myself 182 I am nothing, and in my misery I have nothing of worth; so I abandon myself into the ocean of Your mercy, O Lord. 669 (118) July 16. I am learning how to be good from Jesus, from Him who is goodness itself, so that I may be called a daughter of the heavenly Father. This morning, when someone hurt my feelings, I tried, in that suffering, to unite my will to the will of God, and praised God by my silence. In the afternoon, I went for fiveminute adoration, when suddenly I saw the crucifix I have on my breast come alive. Jesus said to me, My daughter, suffering will be a sign to you that I am with you. My soul was greatly moved by these words. 670 O Jesus, my Master and my Director, it is only with You that I can converse. With no one else is it so easy to talk as with You, O God. 671 In my spiritual life, I will always hold on to the priest‟s hand. About my soul‟s life and its needs, I will speak only with my confessor. 672 (119) + August 4, 1936. Inner torment for more than two hours. Agony….. Suddenly, God‟s presence pervades me and I feel as though I am coming under the power of the just God. His justice pervades me to the marrow; outwardly I lose strength and consciousness. With this, I come to know the great holiness of God and my own great misery. A great torment affects my soul; the soul perceives its deeds to be not without blemish. Then the strength of trust is awakened in the soul, which longs for God with all its might. Yet is sees how miserable it is and what utter vanity everything that surrounds it. And face to face with such holiness, Oh, poor soul…….. August 13. 673 I was tormented by terrible temptations all day; blasphemies thrust themselves upon my lips, and I felt an aversion for everything that is holy and godlike. Yet I struggled throughout the day. In the evening, my mind became oppressed: what‟s the use of telling this to the confessor? (120) He will ridicule it. A feeling of aversion and discouragement filled my soul, and it seemed to me that I could by no means receive Holy Communion in that condition. At the thought of not receiving Communion, such a terrible pain seized my soul that I almost cried aloud in the chapel. But I suddenly realized that the sisters were there and decided to go to the garden and hide myself there so as to be able to at least cry out loud. Then suddenly, Jesus stood by me and said, Where are you intending to go? 674 I gave no answer to Jesus, but poured out all my sorrow before Him, and Satan‟s attempts ceased. Jesus then said to me, The inner peace that you have is a grace, and suddenly He was gone. I felt happy and unaccountably peaceful. Really, for so much peace to return within a moment – that is a thing only Jesus can do, He, the most high Lord. 675 (121 ) + August 7, 1936. When I received the article136 about Divine Mercy with the image [on the cover], God‟s presence filled me in an extraordinary way. When I steeped myself in a 183 prayer of thanksgiving, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus in a great brightness, just as He is painted, and at His feet I saw Father Andrasz and Father Sopocko. Both were holding pens in their hands, and flashes of light and fire, like lightning, were coming from the tips of their pens and striking a great crowd of people who were hurrying I know not where. Whoever was touched by the ray of light immediately turned his back on the crowd and held out his hands to Jesus. Some returned with great joy, others with great pain and compunction. Jesus was looking at both priests with great kindness. After a while, I was left alone with Jesus, and I said, “Jesus, take me now, for Yours will has already been accomplished.” And Jesus answered, (122) My will has not yet been completely accomplished in you; you will still suffer much, but I am with you; do not fear. 676 I have been talking much with the Lord about Father Andrasz and also about Father Sopocko. I know that whatever I ask of the Lord he will not refuse me, and He will give them that for which I ask. I sensed and I know how greatly Jesus loves them. I am not writing about this in detail, but I know this, and it makes me very happy. August 15, 1936 677 During a Mass celebrated by Father Andrasz, a moment before the Elevation, God‟s presence pervaded my soul, which was drawn to the altar. Then I saw the Mother of God with the Infant Jesus. The Infant Jesus was holding onto the hands of Our Lady. A moment later, the Infant Jesus ran with joy to the center of the altar, and the Mother of God said to me, See with what assurance I entrust Jesus into his hands. In the same way, you are to (123) entrust your soul and be like a child to him. - After these words, my soul was filled with unusual trust. The Mother of God was clothed in a white dress, strangely white, transparent; on Her shoulders She had a transparent blue; that is, a blue-like mantle; with uncovered head [and] flowing hair, She was exquisite, and inconceivably beautiful. She was looking at Father with great tenderness, but after a moment, He broke up this beautiful Child, and living blood flowed forth. Father bent forward and received the true and living Jesus into himself. Had he eaten Him? I do not know how this took place. Jesus, Jesus, I cannot keep up with You, for in an instant, You become incomprehensible to me. 678 The essence of the virtues is the will of God. He who does the will of God faithfully, practices all the virtues. In all the events and circumstances of my life, I adore and bless the holy will of God. The holy will of God is the object of my love. (124) In the most secret depths of my soul, I live according to His will. I act exteriorly according to what I recognize inwardly as the will of God. Sweeter to me are the torments, sufferings, persecutions, and all manner of adversities by divine will than popularity, praise, and esteem by my own will. 679 Good night, my Jesus; the bell is calling me to sleep. My Jesus, You see that I am dying from the desire to save souls. Good night, my Beloved; I rejoice at being one day closer to eternity. And if You let me wake up tomorrow, Jesus, I shall begin a new hymn to Your praise. 184 680 July 13. During meditation today, I came to understand that I should never speak about my own interior experiences, [but] that I should conceal nothing from my spiritual director; and I will especially ask God to enlighten my spiritual (125) director. I attach greater importance to the words of my confessor than to all the lights taken together that I receive interiorly. 681 + Amid the greatest torments, I fix the gaze of my soul upon Jesus Crucified; I do not expect help from people, but place my trust in God. In His unfathomable mercy lies all my hope. 682 + The more I feel that God is transforming me, the more I desire to immerse myself in silence. The love of God is doing its work in the depths of my soul. I see that the mission which the Lord has entrusted to me is beginning. 683 + Once, when I was praying fervently to the Jesuit Saints, I suddenly saw my Guardian Angel, who led me before the throne of God. I passed (126) through great hosts of saints, and I recognized many of them, whom I knew from their pictures. I saw many Jesuits, who asked me from what congregation I was. When I answered they asked, “Who is your spiritual director?” I answered that it was Father A….. When they wanted to say more, my Guardian Angel beckoned me to be silent, and I came before the throne of God. I saw a great and inaccessible light, and I saw a place destined for me, close to God. But what it was like I do not know, because a cloud covered it. However, my Guardian Angel said to me, “Here is your throne, for your faithfulness in fulfilling the will of God.” 684 Holy Hour. – Thursday. During this hour of prayer, Jesus allowed me to enter the Cenacle, and I was a witness to what happened there. However, I was most deeply moved when, before the Consecration, Jesus raised (127) His eyes to heaven and entered into a mysterious conversation with His Father. It is only in eternity that we shall really understand that moment. His eyes were like two flames; His face was radiant, white as snow; His whole personage full of majesty, His soul full of longing. At the moment of Consecration, love rested satiated – the sacrifice fully consummated. Now only the external ceremony of death will be carried out – external destruction; the essence [of it] is in the Cenacle. Never in my whole life had I understood this mystery so profoundly as during that hour of adoration. Oh, how ardently I desire that the whole world would come to know this unfathomable mystery! 685 After the Holy Hour, when I went to my cell, I suddenly learned how greatly God was offended by a certain person, who was close to my heart. At the sight of this, my soul was pierced with pain, and I cast myself in the dust before the Lord, begging His mercy. For two hours, in tears, prayer and flagellation I prevented (128) the sin, and I learned that God‟s mercy had embraced that poor soul. Oh, the price of one single sin! 686 + September. First Friday. In the evening, I saw the Mother of God, with Her breast bared and pierced with a sword. She was shedding bitter tears and shielding us against God‟s terrible punishment. God wants to inflict terrible punishment on us, but He cannot because the Mother of God is shielding us. Horrible fear seized my soul. I kept praying incessantly for Poland, for my dear 185 Poland, which is so lacking in gratitude for the Mother of God. If it were not for the Mother of God, all our efforts would be of little use. I intensified my prayers and sacrifices for our dear native land, but I see that I am a drop before the wave of evil. How can a drop stop a wave: O yes! A drop is nothing of itself, but with You, Jesus, I shall stand up bravely to the whole wave of evil and even (129) to the whole of hell. Your omnipotence can do all things. 687 Once, as I was going down the hall to the kitchen, I heard these words in my soul: Say unceasingly the chaplet that I have taught you. Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death. Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy. I desire that the whole world know My infinite mercy.
I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in My mercy.
688 Jesus, Life and Truth, my Master, guide every step of my life, that I may act according to Your holy will. 689 (130) + On one occasion, I saw the throne of the Lamb of God and before the throne three Saints: Stanislaus Kostka, Andrew Bobola and Prince Casimir, who were interceding for Poland. All at once I saw a large book which stands before the throne, and it was given to me to read. The book was written in blood. Still, I could not read anything but the name, Jesus. Then I heard a voice which said to me, Your hour has not yet come. Then the book was taken away from me, and I heard these words: You will bear witness to My infinite mercy. In this book are written the names of the souls that have glorified My mercy. I was overwhelmed with joy at the sight of such great goodness of God. 690 + On one occasion, I came to know of the condition of two religious sisters who were grumbling interiorly about an order the Superior had given them, and for this reason God had withheld many special graces from them. (131 ) My heart ached at this sight. How sad it is, O Jesus, when we ourselves are the cause of the loss of graces. Whoever understands this is always faithful. 691 + Thursday. Although I was very tired today, I nevertheless resolved to make a Holy Hour. I could not pray, nor could I remain kneeling, but I remained in prayer for a whole hour and united myself in spirit with those souls who are already worshipping God in the perfect way. But toward the end of the hour, I suddenly saw Jesus, who looked at me penetratingly and said with ineffable sweetness, Your prayer is extremely pleasing to Me. After these words, an unusual power and spiritual joy entered my soul. God‟s presence continued to pervade my soul. Oh, what happens to a soul that meets the Lord face to face, no pen has ever expressed or ever will express! 692 (132) + O Jesus, I understand that Your mercy is beyond all imagining, and therefore I ask You to make my heart so big that there will be room in it for the needs of all the souls living on the face of the earth. O Jesus, my love extends beyond the world, to the souls suffering in purgatory, and I want to exercise mercy toward them by means of indulgenced prayers. God‟s mercy is unfathomable and inexhaustible, just as God Himself is unfathomable. Even if I were to use the strongest words there are to 186 express this mercy of God, all this would be nothing in comparison with what it is in reality. O Jesus, make my heart sensitive to all the sufferings of my neighbor, whether of body or of soul. O my Jesus, I know that You act toward us as we act toward our neighbor. My Jesus, make my heart like unto Your merciful Heart. Jesus, help me to go through life doing good to everyone. 693 (133) September 14, [1936]. The Archbishop [Jalbrzykowski] of Vilnius visited us. Although he stayed with us for a very short time, I still had a chance to talk with this worthy priest about the work of mercy. He showed himself very favorably disposed to this cause of mercy: “Sister, be completely at peace; if this is within the plans of divine providence, it will come about. In the meantime, Sister, pray for a clearer outward sign. Let the Lord Jesus give you a clearer knowledge of this. I beg you to wait a little while longer. The Lord Jesus will arrange the circumstances in such a way that everything will turn out all right.” 694 September 19, 1936. When we left the doctor‟s137 [office] and stepped into the sanatorium chapel for a moment, I heard these words in my soul: My child, just a few more drops in your chalice; it won't be long now. Joy (134) filled my soul; this was the first call from my beloved Spouse and Master. My heart melted, and there was a moment when my soul was immersed in the whole sea of God‟s mercy. I felt that my mission was beginning in all its fullness. Death destroys nothing that is good. I pray most of all for souls that are experiencing inner sufferings. 695 Once, I received light concerning two sisters. I understood that it is not possible for a person to act in the same manner towards everyone. There are some people who have a strange way of making friends with others. And then, as friends and under the pretext of that friendship, they manage to draw the person out, word by word. Then, when the right moment comes, they use those very same words to hurt that person. My Jesus, how strange is human frailty! Your love, Jesus, gives the soul this great prudence in its dealings with others. 696 (135) + September 24, 1936. Mother Superior [Irene] ordered me to say one decade of the rosary in place of all the other exercises, and to go to bed at once. As soon as I lay down I fell asleep, for I was very tired. But a while later, I was awakened by suffering. It was such a great suffering that it prevented me from making even the slightest movement; I could not even swallow my saliva. This lasted for about three hours. I thought of waking up the novice sister 138 who shared my room, but then I thought, “She cannot give me any help, so let her sleep. It would be a pity to wake her.” I resigned myself completely to the will of God and thought that the day of my death, so much desired, had come. It was an occasion for me to unite myself with Jesus, suffering on the Cross. Beyond that, I was unable to pray. When the suffering ceased, I began (136) to perspire. But I still could not move, as the pain would return at each attempt. In the morning, I felt very tired, though I felt no further physical pain. Still, I could not get up to attend Mass. I thought to myself, if after such suffering death does not come, then how great the sufferings of death must be! 187 697 Jesus, You know that I love suffering and want to drain the cup of suffering to the last drop; and yet, my nature experienced a slight shudder and fear. Quickly, however, my trust in the infinite mercy of God was awakened in all its force, and everything else had to give way before it, like a shadow retreating before the sun‟s rays. O Jesus, how great is Your goodness! Your infinite goodness, so well known to me, enables me to bravely look death itself in the eye. I know that nothing will happen to me without God‟s permission. I desire to glorify Your infinite mercy during my life, at the hour of death, in the resurrection and throughout eternity. (137) + My Jesus, my strength, my peace, my repose; my soul bathes daily in the rays of Your mercy. There is not a moment in my life when I do not experience Your mercy, O God. I count on nothing in my whole life, but only on Your infinite mercy. It is the guiding thread of my life, O Lord. My soul is filled with God‟s mercy. 698 + Oh, how sorely Jesus is hurt by the ingratitude of a chosen soul! What a martyrdom it is for His unspeakable love! God loves us with the entire infinite Being that he is; and imagine, a miserable particle of dust scorns that love! My heart bursts with pain when I see this ingratitude. 699 On one occasion, I heard these words: My daughter, tell the whole world about My inconceivable (138) mercy. I desire that the Feast of Mercy 139 be a refuge and shelter for all souls, and especially for poor sinners. On that day the very depths of My tender mercy are open. I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the Fount of My Mercy. The soul that will go to Confession and receive Holy Communion shall obtain complete forgiveness of sins and punishment. On that day all the divine floodgates through which graces flow are opened. Let no soul fear to draw near to Me, even though its sins be as scarlet. My mercy is so great that no mind, be it of man or of angel, will be able to fathom it throughout all eternity. Everything that exists has come forth from the very depths of My most tender mercy. Every soul in its relation to Me will contemplate My love and mercy throughout eternity. The Feast of Mercy emerged from My very depths of tenderness. (139) It is My desire that it be solemnly celebrated on the first Sunday after Easter. Mankind will not have peace until it turns to the Fount of My Mercy. 700 + Once, when I was very tired and in much pain, I told Mother Superior [Irene] about it and received the answer that I should get used to suffering. I listened to everything that Mother told me, and then I went out. Our Mother Superior has great love of neighbor and especially great love for the sick sisters, as everyone knows. And yet, as regards me, it is extraordinary that the Lord Jesus has permitted that she not understand me and that she test me much in this respect.