701 On this particular day, when I was feeling so bad and still went to work, every now and then I would feel sick. It was so very hot that, even without working, a person felt terrible, (140) not to mention what it was like when one had to work while suffering. So, before noon, I straightened up from my work, looked up to the sky with great trust and said to the Lord, “Jesus, cover the sun, for I cannot stand this heat any longer.” And, O wonder, at that very moment a white cloud covered the sun and, from then on, the heat became less intense. When a little while later I began to reproach myself that I did not bear the heat, but begged for relief, Jesus Himself put me at ease. 188 702 August 13, 1936. Tonight God‟s presence is pervading me, and in an instant I come to know the great holiness of God. Oh, how the greatness of God overwhelms me! I then come to know the whole depth of my nothingness. This is a great torment, for this knowledge is followed by love. The soul bounds forward vehemently toward God, and the two loves come face to face: the Creator and the creature; (141 ) one little drop seeks to measure itself with the ocean. At first, the little drop wants to enclose the infinite ocean within itself; but at the same moment, it knows itself to be just one small drop, and thus it is vanquished, and it passes completely into God like a drop into the ocean. At first, this moment is a torment, but so sweet that, on experiencing it, the soul is happy. 703 At present, the topic of my particular examen is my union with the Merciful Christ! This practice gives me unusual strength; my heart is always united with the One it desires, and its actions are regulated by mercy, which flows from love. 704 I spend every free moment at the feet of the hidden God. He is my Master; I ask Him about everything; I speak to Him about everything. Here I obtain strength and light; here I learn everything; here I am given light on how to act toward my neighbor. From the time (142) I left the novitiate, I have enclosed myself in the tabernacle together with Jesus, my Master. He Himself drew me into the fire of living love on which everything converges. 705 September 25. I suffer great pain in my hands, feet and side, the places where Jesus‟ body was pierced. I experience these pains particularly when I meet with a soul who is not in the state of grace. Then I pray fervently that the mercy of God will embrace that soul. 706 [September] 29. On the Feast of Saint Michael the Archangel, I saw by my side that great Leader, who spoke these words to me: “The Lord has ordered me to take special care of you. Know that you are hated by evil; but do not fear – “”Who is like God!‟ “ And he disappeared. But I feel his presence and assistance. 707 (143) October 2, 1936. The First Friday of the month. After Holy Communion, I suddenly saw the Lord Jesus, who spoke these words to me: Now I know that it is not for the graces or gifts that you love me, but because My will is dearer to you than life. That is why I am uniting Myself with you so intimately as with no other creature.
708 At that moment, Jesus disappeared. My soul was filled with the presence of God. I know that the gaze of the Mighty One rests upon me. I plunged myself completely in the joy that flows from God. I continued throughout the whole day without interruption, thus immersed in God. In the evening, I fell as if into a faint and a strange sort of agony. My love wants to equal the love of the Mighty One. It is drawn to Him so vehemently that it is impossible, without some special grace from God, to bear the vastness of such a grace in this life. But I see clearly that Jesus Himself is sustaining me and strengthening me and making me capable of communing with Him. In all this, the soul is particularly active. 189 709 (144) October 3, 1936. During the rosary today, I suddenly saw a ciborium with the Blessed Sacrament. The ciborium was uncovered and quite filled with hosts. From the ciborium came a voice: These hosts have been received by souls converted through your prayer and suffering. At this point, I felt God‟s presence as a child would; I felt strangely like a child.
710 When one day I felt I would be unable to carry on till nine and asked S.N. 140 for something to eat, because I was going to bed earlier as I was not feeling well, S.N. answered, “But you are not ill, Sister; they only wanted you to have some rest, so they made up the illness.” O my Jesus, my illness is so far advanced 141 that the doctor has separated me from the sisters to prevent them from becoming infected, and yet one is judged in this way. But that‟s good; all this is for You, my Jesus. I do not want to write much about external matters, for they are not the reason for my writing; (145) I want in particular to note the graces granted me by the Lord, because these are not only for me, but for many other souls as well.
711 October 5, [1936]. Today I received a letter from Father Sopocko. I learned that he intends to publish a holy card of the Merciful Christ. He asked me to send him a certain prayer 142 which he wants to put on the back, if he receives the Archbishop‟s approbation. Oh, what great joy fills my heart that God has let me see this work of His mercy! How great is this work of the Most High God! I am but His instrument. Oh, how ardently I desire to see this Feast of the Divine Mercy which God is demanding through me. But if it is the will of God that it be celebrated solemnly only after my death, even so I rejoice in it already, and I celebrate it interiorly with my confessor‟s permission. 712 (146) + I saw Father Andrasz today, kneeling and engulfed in prayer, and suddenly Jesus stood by him and, holding out both hands over his head, He said to me: - He will lead you through; do not fear. 713 October 11. This evening, as I was writing about this great mercy of God and its great advantage to souls, Satan rushed into my room with great anger and fury. He seized the screen and began to break and crush it. I was a little frightened at first, but immediately made the sign of the cross with my little crucifix, and the beast fell quiet and disappeared at once. Today, I did not see this hideous figure but only his anger. Satan‟s anger is terrible, and yet the screen was not shattered or broken, and I went on writing quietly. I know well that the wretch will not touch me without God‟s willing it, but what is he up to? He is beginning to attack me openly (147) and with such great fury and hate, but he does not disturb my peace for a moment, and this composure of mine makes him furious. 714 + The Lord said to me today: Go to the Superior and tell her that I want all the sisters and wards to say the chaplet which I have taught you. They are to say it for nine days in the chapel in order to appease My Father and to entreat God‟s mercy for Poland. I answered the Lord that I would tell her, but that I must first speak about this with Father Andrasz, and I resolved that as soon as Father comes I will speak to him at once about this matter. When Father arrived, the circumstances were such that they prevented me from seeing him, but I should not have paid any attention to the circumstances and should have gone and settled the matter. I thought to myself, “Well, I‟ll do it when he comes again.” 190 715 Oh, how much (148) that displeased God! In one moment, the presence of God left me, that great presence of God which is continuously within me in a distinctly felt way. At that moment, however, it completely left me. Darkness dominated my soul to such an extent that I did not know whether I was in the state of grace or not. Therefore, I did not receive Holy Communion for four days, after which I saw Father Andrasz and told him everything. He comforted me, saying, “You have not lost the grace of God, but all the same, be true to Him.‟” The moment I left the confessional, God‟s presence enveloped me as before. I understood that God‟s grace must be received just as God sends it, in the way He wants, and one must receive it in that form under which God sends it to us. 716 O my Jesus, I am making at this very moment a firm and eternal resolution by virtue of Your grace and mercy, fidelity to the tiniest grace of Yours. 717 (149) All night long, I was preparing to receive Holy Communion, since I could not sleep because of physical suffering. My soul was flooded with love and repentance.
718 After Holy Communion, I heard these words:- You see what you are of yourself, but do not be frightened at this. If I were to reveal to you the whole misery that you are, you would die of terror. However, be aware of what you are. Because you are such great misery, I have revealed to you the whole ocean of My mercy. I seek and desire souls like yours, but they are few. Your great trust in Me forces Me to continuously grant you graces. You have great and incomprehensible rights over My Heart, for you are a daughter of complete trust. You would not have been able to bear the magnitude of the love which I have for you if I had revealed it to you fully here on earth. I often give you a glimpse of it, but know that this is only an exceptional grace from Me. My love and mercy knows no bounds. 719 (150) Today, I heard these words: Know, my child, that for your sake I grant blessings to this whole vicinity. But you ought to thank Me on their behalf, as they do not thank Me for the kindnesses I extend to them. For the sake of your gratitude, I will continue to bless them. 720 O my Jesus, You know how difficult community life is, how many misunderstandings and misconceptions, despite at times the most sincere good will on both sides. But that is Your mystery, O Lord. We shall know it in eternity; however, our judgments should always be mild. 721 It is a great, an immeasurably great grace of God to have a spiritual director. I feel now that, without him, I would not be able to journey alone in my spiritual life. Great is the power of a priest. I thank God unceasingly for giving me a spiritual director. 722 (151 ) + Today, I head these words: You see how weak you are, so when shall I be able to count on you? I answered, “Jesus, be always with me, for I am Your little child. Jesus, You know what little children do.”
723 + Today, I heard these words: The graces I grant you are not for you alone, but for a great number of other souls as well…. And your heart is My constant 191 dwelling place, despite the misery that you are. I united Myself with you, take away your misery and give you My mercy. I perform works of mercy in every soul. The greater the sinner, the greater the right he has to My mercy. My mercy is confirmed in every work of My hands. He who trusts in My mercy will not perish, for all his affairs are mine, and his enemies will be shattered at the base of My footstool. 724 (152) On the eve of the retreat, I started to pray that the Lord Jesus might give me just a little health so that I could take part in the retreat, because I was feeling so ill that I thought perhaps it might be my last. However, as soon as I had started praying I felt a strange dissatisfaction. I interrupted the prayer of supplication and began to thank the Lord for everything He sends me, submitting myself completely to His holy will. Then I felt profound peace of soul. + Faithful submission to the will of God, always and everywhere, in all events and circumstances of life, gives great glory to God. Such submission to the will of God carries more weight with Him than long fasts, mortifications and the most severe penances. Oh, how great is the reward for one act of loving submission to the will of God! As I write, my soul is enraptured at the thought of how much God loves it and of the peace that my soul already enjoys, here on earth. + (153) J.M.J. Cracow, 1936 O Divine Will, be my love! 725 + Eight-day Retreat, October 20, 1936. My Jesus, I am going into the wilderness today to speak only with You, my Master and my Lord. Let the earth be silent, and You alone speak to me, Jesus. You know that I understand no other voice but Yours, O Good Shepherd. In the dwelling of my heart is that wilderness to which no creature has access. There, You alone are King. 726 + When I entered the chapel for a five-minute adoration, I asked the Lord Jesus how I should conduct myself during this retreat. Then I heard this voice in my soul: I desire that you be entirely transformed into love and that you burn ardently as a pure victim of love…. 727 (154) Eternal Truth, give me a ray of Your light that I may come to know You, O Lord, and worthily glorify Your infinite mercy. And at the same time, grant me to know myself, the whole abyss of misery that I am. 728 + I have chosen Saint Claude de la Colombiere and Saint Gertrude as my patron saints for this retreat, that they may intercede for me before the Mother of God and the merciful Savior. 729 During the meditation on creation… at a certain point, my soul became closely united to its Lord and Creator. In this union, I recognized the purpose and destiny of my life. My purpose is to become closely united to God through love, and my destiny is to praise and glorify God‟s mercy. 192 The Lord has allowed me to know and experience this in a distinct and even physical way. I become lost in admiration when I recognize and experience this incomprehensible love of God with which God loves me. Who is God – and what am I (155) I cannot meditate on this any further. Only love can understand this meeting of two spirits, namely, God-who-is-Spirit and the soul-who-is-creature. The more I know Him, the more completely, with all the strength of my being, I drown in Him. 730 + In this retreat, I shall keep you continually close to My Heart, that you may better know My mercy, that mercy which I have for people and especially for poor sinners. 731 On the initial day of the retreat, I was visited by one of the sisters 143 who had come to make her perpetual vows. She confided to me that she had no trust in God and became discouraged at every little thing. I answered her, “It is well that you have told me this, Sister; I will pray for you.” And I spoke a few words to her about how much distrust hurts the Lord Jesus, especially distrust on the part of a chosen soul. She told me that, beginning with her perpetual vows, she would practice trust. Now I know that even [some] souls that are chosen and well-advanced (156) in the religious life or the spiritual life do not have the courage to entrust themselves completely to God. And this is so because few souls know the unfathomable mercy of God and His great goodness. 732 + The great majesty of God which pervaded me today and still pervades me awoke in me a great fear, but a fear filled with respect, and not the fear of a slave, which is quite different from the fear of respect. This fear animated by respect arose in my heart today because of love and the knowledge of the greatness of God, and that is a great joy to the soul. The soul trembles before the smallest offense against God; but that does not trouble or darken its happiness. There, where love is in charge, all is well. 733 It sometimes happens, while I am listening to the meditation, that one word puts me in very close union with the Lord, and I no longer know what Father 144 is saying. I know that I am close to the most merciful Heart of Jesus; my whole spirit is entirely plunged in Him, and in one moment (157) I learn more than during long hours of intellectual inquiry and meditation. These are sudden lights which permit me to know things as God sees them, regarding matters of both the interior and the exterior world. 734 I see that Jesus Himself is acting in my soul during this retreat. And as for me, I try only to be faithful to His grace. I have submitted my soul completely to the influence of God. This Mighty Ruler of heaven has taken entire possession of my soul. I feel that I am being lifted up above earth and heaven into the inner life of God, where I come to know the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, but always in the unity of majesty. 735 + I will enclose myself in the chalice of Jesus so that I may comfort Him continually. I will do everything within my power to save souls, and I will do it through prayer and suffering. (158) + I try always to be a Bethany for Jesus, so that He may rest here after all His labor. In Holy Communion, my union with Jesus is so intimate and incomprehensible 193 that even if I wanted to describe it in writing I could not do so, because I lack the words. 736 This evening, I saw the Lord Jesus just as He was during His Passion. His eyes were raised up to His Father, and He was praying for us. 737 + Although I was ill, I made up my mind to make a Holy Hour today as usual. During that hour, I saw the Lord Jesus being scourged at the pillar. In the midst of this frightful torture, Jesus was praying. After a while, He said to me, There are few souls who contemplate My Passion with true feeling; I give great graces to souls who meditate devoutly on My Passion. 738 + Without special help from Me, you are not even capable of accepting My graces. You know who you are. 739 (159) After Holy Communion today, I spoke at length to the Lord Jesus about people who are special to me. Then I heard these words: My daughter, don‟t be exerting yourself so much with words. Those whom you love in a special way, I too love in a special way, and for your sake, I shower My graces upon them. I am pleased when you tell Me about them, but don‟t be doing so with such excessive effort. 740 + O Savior of the world. I unite myself with Your mercy. My Jesus, I join all my sufferings to Yours and deposit them in the treasury of the Church for the benefit of souls. 741 Today, I was led by an Angel to the chasms of hell. It is a place of great torture; how awesomely large and extensive it is! The kinds of tortures I saw: the first torture that constitutes hell is the loss of God; the second is perpetual remorse of conscience; the third is that one‟s condition will never change; (160) the fourth is the fire that will penetrate the soul without destroying it – a terrible suffering, since it is purely spiritual fire, lit by God‟s anger; the fifth torture is continual darkness and a terrible suffocating smell, and despite the darkness, the devils and the souls of the damned see each other and all the evil, both of others and their own; the sixth torture is the constant company of Satan; the seventh torture is horrible despair, hatred of God, vile words, curses and blasphemies. These are the tortures suffered by all the damned together, but that is not the end of the sufferings. There are special tortures destined for particular souls. These are the torments of the senses. Each soul undergoes terrible and indescribable sufferings, related to the manner in which it has sinned. There are caverns and pits of torture where one form of agony differs from another. I would have died at the very sight of these tortures if the omnipotence of God had not supported me. Let the sinner know that he will be tortured throughout all eternity, in those senses which he made use of to sin. (161 ) I am writing this at the command of God, so that no soul may find an excuse by saying there is no hell, or that nobody has ever been there, and so no one can say what it is like. I, Sister Faustina, by the order of God, have visited the abysses of hell so that I might tell souls about it and testify to its existence. I cannot speak about it now; but I have received a command from God to leave it in writing. The devils were full of hatred for me, but they had to obey me at the command of God. What I have written is but a 194 pale shadow of the things I saw. But I noticed one thing: that most of the souls there are those who disbelieved that there is a hell. When I came to, I could hardly recover from the fright. How terribly souls suffer there! Consequently, I pray even more fervently for the conversion of sinners. I incessantly plead God‟s mercy upon them. O my Jesus, I would rather be in agony until the end of the world, amidst the greatest sufferings, than offend You by the least sin.(162) J.M.J. 742 My daughter, if I demand through you that people revere My mercy, you should be the first to distinguish yourself by this confidence in My mercy. I demand from you deeds of mercy, which are to arise out of love for Me. You are to show mercy to your neighbors always and everywhere. You must not shrink from this or try to excuse or absolve yourself from it. I am giving you three ways of exercising mercy toward your neighbor: the first by deed, the second by word, the third by prayer. In these three degrees is contained the fullness of mercy, and it is an unquestionable proof of love for Me. By this means a soul glorifies and pays reverence to My mercy. Yes, the first Sunday after Easter is the Feast of Mercy, but there must also be acts of mercy, and I demand the worship of My mercy through the solemn celebration of the Feast and through the veneration of the image which is painted. By means of this image I shall grant many graces to souls. It is to be a reminded of the demands of My mercy, because even the strongest (163) faith is of no avail without works. O my Jesus, You Yourself must help me in everything, because You see how very little I am, and so I depend solely on Your goodness, O God. + Particular Examen 743 Two general resolutions: First: To strive after inner silence and to observe the rule of silence strictly. Second: Faithfulness to interior inspirations; to bring them into my life and actions according to the advice of my spiritual director. In this present illness, I desire to glorify the will of God. I will try, as far as I am able, to take part (164) in all the community exercises. I will give the Lord God fervent thanks for every sorrow and suffering. 744 + I often feel that, apart from Jesus, I get no help from anyone, although sometimes I am very much in need of clarifications concerning the demands of the Lord. This evening, I suddenly received light from God regarding a certain matter. For twelve years, I have been reflecting on a certain matter and could not understand it. Today, Jesus gave me to know how much that had pleased Him. The Feast of Christ the King. [October 25, 1936] 195 745 During Holy Mass, I was so enveloped in the great interior fire of God‟s love and the desire to save souls that I do not know how to express it. I feel I am all aflame. I shall fight all evil with the weapon of mercy. I am being burned up by the desire to save souls. I traverse the world‟s length and breadth (165) and venture as far as its ultimate limits and its wildest lands to save souls. I do this through prayer and sacrifice. I want every soul to glorify the mercy of God, for each one experiences the effects of that mercy on himself. The Saints in heaven worship the mercy of the Lord. I want to worship it even now, here on earth, and to spread devotion to it in the way that God demands of me. 746 I have understood that at certain and most difficult moments I shall be alone, deserted by everyone, and that I must face all the storms and fight with all the strength of my soul, even with those from whom I expected to get help. But I am not alone, because Jesus is with me, and with Him I fear nothing. I am well aware of everything, and I know what God is demanding of me. Suffering, contempt, ridicule, persecution, and humiliation will be my constant lot. I know no other way. For sincere love – ingratitude; this is my path, marked out by the footprints of Jesus. (166) (166) My Jesus, my strength and my only hope, in You alone is all my hope. My trust will not be frustrated. 747 The day of renewal of vows [Friday, October 30, 1936]. God‟s presence pervades my soul, not only in a spiritual way, but I feel it in a physical way also. 748 November 2, [1936]. In the evening after Vespers, I went to the cemetery [in the sisters‟ park]. I had been praying for a while when I saw one of our sisters, who said to me, :We are in the chapel.” I understood that I was to go to the chapel and there pray and gain the indulgences. The next day, during Holy Mass, I saw three white doves soaring from the altar toward heaven. I understood that not only the three souls that I saw had gone to heaven, but also many others who had died beyond the confines of our institute. Oh, how good and merciful is the Lord! 749 (167) Conversation with Father Andrasz, at the end of the retreat. I was greatly surprised by one thing that I noticed during each conversation in the course of which I had asked advice and direction of Father Andrasz, and it is this: I noticed that Father Andrasz answered all my questions about things which the Lord had asked of me so clearly and with such assurance that it was a though he were experiencing it all himself. O my Jesus, if only there were more spiritual directors of this kind, souls under such guidance would very quickly reach the summits of sanctity and would not waste such great graces! I give unceasing thanks to God for so great a grace; namely, that in His great goodness He has deigned to place these pillars of light along the path of my spiritual life. They light my way so that I do not go astray or become delayed in my journey toward close union with the Lord. I have a great love for the Church, which educates souls and leads them to God. 750 (168) October 31, 1936. Conversation with Mother General [Michael]. When I was talking to Mother General about the question of my leaving the Order, I received this answer: “If Jesus demands of you that you leave this Congregation, let Him give me some sign that this is His will. Sister, pray for such a sign, because I am worried 196 lest you should fall prey to some illusion. On the other hand, I would not want to hinder or oppose the will of God, for I too want to do the will of God.” And so, we agreed that I will still remain just as I am, until such time as the Lord will let Mother General know that He demands that I leave this Congregation. And so the matter was put off for a while.