Saturday 25 June 2016

128. One day, one of the Mothers [probably Mother Jane] poured out so much of her anger on me

Relics of St. Faustina 
and humiliated me so much that I thought I would not be able to endure it. She said to me, “You queer, hysterical visionary, get out of this room; go on with you, Sister!” She continued to pour out upon my head everything she could think of. When I got to my cell, I fell on my face before the cross, and then looked at Jesus; but I could no longer say a single word. Yet I concealed everything from the others and pretended that nothing had happened between us.

129 Satan always takes advantage of such moments; thoughts of discouragement began to rise to the surface – for your faithfulness and sincerity – this is your reward. How can one be sincere when one is so misunderstood? Jesus, Jesus, I cannot go on any longer. Again I fell to the ground under this weight, and broke out in a sweat, and fear began to overcome me. I had no one to lean on interiorly. Suddenly I heard a voice within my soul, Do not fear; I am with you. And an unusual light illumined my mind, and I understood that I should not give in to such sorrows. I was filled with a certain strength and left my cell with new courage to suffer.